


The Meaning of Forever

by benperor-ren (winterelf86)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Friends to Almost Lovers to Enemies to Lovers, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, but there is underage drug use, middle/high school au, modern Knights of Ren, no underage smut, once again HUGE angst warning, smut comes later, this IS a Reylo HEA don't worry, very minor Ben and Rey with other people
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-03-07 15:37:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18876121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterelf86/pseuds/benperor-ren
Summary: Rey is adopted by Amilyn Holdo and befriends the boy next door, Ben Solo. At a young age they make a deal to stay friends forever, but sometimes life gets in the way and people change. Will growing up break them or change them for the better?





	1. Chapter 1

**1998**

 

The day Holdo adopted Rey it was bright and sunny, a contrast from her time spent in Plutt’s residence where she either saw dust, the white walls of her room, or a classroom. The deep blue sky remained cloudless during the drive to Chandrila. The rolling green hills sped by and filled Rey's vision, igniting her imagination with the things to come.

 

_She had never seen so much green before._

 

All her life she only knew sand and grime. The old junkyard and garage of Plutt's residence and business had been dull and lifeless, a landscape of dust and rusted metal. The memories flowed through her mind, making her shudder. She shut down the traumatic memories as she refused to allow them to ruin this moment.

 

The tall pines and fields painted in green, blues, and yellows gave way to a neighborhood filled with two story homes. An iron gate surrounded the subdivision, a black grate against the multitude of white panels and red brick houses.

 

Holdo punched in the number into the keypad and the gate opened, allowing Holdo to drive through. They pulled up to a white two story home with the perfect landscaped yard you’d find in a Good Housekeeping magazine. A birdbath, various bird feeders, and a few yard decorations were placed in an aesthetically pleasing arrangement in the front yard. Quite a difference from motors, axles, and radiators littering a dust bowl of a yard.  

 

Rey's jaw dropped once she entered the house. Never in her wildest dreams did she think she would live like a princess. Winding stairs snaked to the second floor, her eyes followed it to where she caught a glimpse of a small window on the ceiling. Natural light spilled across the floor, illuminating the space. The house reminded her of the castles she saw in her storybooks, everything about it enchanted her.

 

“Your room is already set up. All you have to do is put your clothes in the closet or the dresser,” Holdo said, managing to capture Rey’s attention and lead her to her room.

 

“When you're finished we'll eat. After that I'd like for you to meet my friend, Leia Solo, and her son, Ben. They're also our neighbors and her son is your age.”

 

Rey's eyes lit up. The thought of making a friend within a day of being here excited her, and she could barely contain her enthusiasm. At Plutt's all she had were a few dolls to keep her company, and the most human interaction she experienced outside of going to the store or school came from Plutt or his customers.

 

Not the best role models for an eight year old girl.

 

Rey quickly put away her belongings and walked to the kitchen where a grilled cheese sandwich and a glass of water sat waiting for her. She pulled up a chair and began to consume her meal. When only a few crumbs were left on her plate and her glass empty Holdo walked her next door.

 

This house proved to be larger and more ornate. Holdo explained that Leia was a senator, which elicited a surprised, jaw-dropping gasp from Rey. She managed to close her mouth before the senator opened the door, a bright smile on her face as she looked at Holdo then to Rey.   
  
“You must be Rey,” Leia said before stepping to the side and gesturing for them to come inside.

 

Rey’s eyes roamed over the pictures lining the wall next to the stairs. She noticed the boy Holdo had mentioned. His black hair cut just over his large ears and a wide smile splayed across his face he was not hard to miss. A man with a playful, rogue smile sat next to Leia, his arm snaking around her shoulder while the other pulled their son into a group hug. A pang of jealousy hit her as she noticed they were the perfect family. It was an emotion she shouldn’t feel with Holdo being her mother now, but she had dreamed of a family like the one she saw in the pictures for so long it was a hard feeling to shake.

 

Leia watched a flicker of emotions cross Rey’s face as she examined the pictures. Holdo told her Rey’s story the day before and her heart had ached at the thought of anyone neglecting this child, or any child for that matter. “That’s my son, Ben. He’ll be excited to meet you. My brother will be dropping him off in a few minutes,” Leia explained in an attempt to settle Rey’s churning feelings.

 

Rey smiled and spoke. “I can’t wait to meet him, Mrs. Solo.”

 

“Such great manners,” Leia said with a smile that reached her eyes. “I just made some fresh lemonade, would you like some?”

 

Rey nodded. “I’d love to have some. Please.”

 

Leia walked into the kitchen and a few minutes later she came out with a pitcher full of lemonade and poured a glass for Rey and Holdo. Rey sipped her drink while she listened to Leia and Holdo discuss adult matters. Boring.

 

Rey heard the whirring sound of an engine in the driveway followed by the sound of two car doors being closed. The steady cadence of footsteps reached the door and once it opened Ben Solo ran through the door to throw his arms around his mother. She held him in a tight bear hug and the smiles on their faces had the jealousy rising like a raging forest fire. Rey shrugged it off, she had Amilyn Holdo now and she was more than grateful for her kindness. She wouldn’t allow pettiness ruin her chances with a friendship.

 

Leia let Ben go and with her hands on his shoulders she turned him to face Rey. His grin widened as he took her in. He never expected to befriend a girl. Girls were supposed to be icky and full of cooties or something.

 

“This is Rey. She’s our neighbor now. How about you show her your room and the den? I’m sure you’ll get along with her,” Leia said, lifting her hands from his shoulders.

 

Ben didn’t hesitate as he took Rey’s arm and led her upstairs. They ran past the family pictures and two other rooms which she suspected were his parents’ room and a guest room. Her eyes widened when she walked into Ben’s room. He had his own TV with a N64 and a container that held an abundant amount of games. Against the wall sat a large four poster bed, one too large for a child of his age. Pieces of art lined the walls, some painted and some colored with crayons or pencils. One or two were drawn with charcoal. Intrigued by the drawings she turned to face Ben.

 

“Did you draw these?” Rey asked, her small finger pointing at the drawings.

 

Ben nodded. “I drew a lot of them last year. One of them even won a contest.” He pointed at the one with an ocean, a large dragon covered in glittering green scales flew over the water, adding contrast to the blue hue of the waves. “That one.”

 

Rey beamed at it. “It’s amazing.”  

 

“I have a few others in my desk drawer if you want to see them.” Ben pointed to a small desk with several drawers, a cup of pens and pencils sat on top of it in the corner.

 

“Of course!”

 

They spent the rest of the afternoon looking at Ben’s drawings and after dinner they played a few N64 games. Rey even beat him at Mario Kart 64 a couple times and he was surprised to find out he didn’t mind. She could slaughter him in the game for the rest of his life if it meant he’d have a friend.

* * *

 

 

Since that day Rey and Ben were inseparable. The sweltering summer heat began to wear them down and Leia suggested they go to the nearest lake to swim and cool off for a day. Rey excitedly agreed. She grabbed her swimsuit, sunscreen, and a towel and jammed it into one of her bags. Holdo waved bye to her as Leia rolled out of the driveway. Seeing someone acknowledge her, whether she was coming and going, made her feel warm inside.

 

They traveled on the highway leading up to the larger mountains. Rocky outcroppings blended with the green leaves of large redwoods. Rey nearly pushed her face against the window as she watched the forested and rocky mountains rush by. The forest had fascinated her ever since she arrived here.Rey made a mental note to go explore it one day with Ben. Maybe they’d get lost in it and have to live there without a care in the world. She felt Ben’s hand prod her shoulder and she turned her head to where Ben pointed.

 

The lake came into full view and Rey gasped. The clear waters reflected the sun with a white-yellow light and she could even see the bottom of the lake from where they were. When they pulled up to the beach Rey and Ben did not hesitate to jump out of the vehicle and run to the water. Leia yelled at them to slow down and be careful. Ben and Rey ignored her as they ran into the water, yelping about the cold liquid hitting their skin.

 

Leia just rolled her eyes and laughed.

 

They had spent an hour in the water when the sun hovered high in the sky, giving their skin a pink hue considering their sunscreen had worn off. The blazing sun was forgotten in the cool water as they dunked the other in the water, or mischievously attempted to knock each other off a round water float.

 

“You’re splashing me too much,” Rey squealed as Ben decided to send tidal waves of water towards Rey with his long arms.

 

Ben stopped, allowing her to a moment of peace before he gave her one more big splash. “Sorry,” he muttered as he watched her spit out excess water, his devious grin reaching his big ears.

 

A playful smirk crossed Rey’s face and before Ben could react she gripped his shoulders and pushed him down until his head disappeared under the water. She released him as soon he was submerged. Rey wasn’t so mean she’d let him suffer for a few more seconds.

 

He broke the surface coughing, then laughing. “Okay, you got me. We’re even now.”

 

They played until the sun began to drift down the sky, only stopping to eat a quick lunch at the picnic tables. It took Leia several tries to get them to dry off and pack up to go home. The stars lit up the sky before they left the lake. Ben and Rey passed out in the backseat before Leia pulled up in the driveway.

* * *

 

The rest of their summer consisted of going to the ice cream parlor and trying every flavor ice cream. They made a pact to try all the flavors before school started, which sometimes ended in upset stomachs if they decided to eat more than one flavor in a single sitting.

 

Their next venture was the arcade where Ben and Rey showed off their competitive streaks in public. Rey swore she would beat him in Mortal Kombat before the end of the summer. They spent at least an hour on the game with Rey determined to beat him with Raiden, a character she swore was superior to Scorpion. A sentiment that would always start a frivolous argument.

* * *

 

The night before school started Rey met Ben in the field in his backyard. He gestured for her to lay down and look up. Stars glittered the dark sky. Rey could make a out a few constellations and even pointed to a shooting star.

 

“We should make a deal,” Ben suggested, turning his head to look at her.

 

“I thought you made wishes when you saw a shooting star,” Rey said.

 

Ben shrugged. “What else is there to wish for? We have our families and we have our friendship. So, I think we should make a deal to never stop being friends. I think it should last forever. Do you agree?”

 

Rey smiled and wrapped her pinky finger around his when he held it up. “Deal. It’s not something I want to see end. Ever.”

 

“I’m glad,” Ben said with a small grin.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I almost didn't get this one finished in time but I did it! Once again this chapter didn't have a beta. Sorry for any errors!

**2001, 3 years later**

 

The white paper crinkled at the sides as Rey gripped the edges hard enough for her knuckles to turn pale. She only shared two classes with Ben, which made her stomach churn with dread. For the rest of their elementary school years they had shared a class together, but with the chaotic, split classrooms of junior high they were separated for a significant portion of the day.

 

“We were warned this might happen, Rey,” Ben pointed out. “You shouldn’t let it ruin your mood. We’ll still see each other in two classes and at lunch. We also have the weekends and breaks to hang out.” 

 

Rey sighed as she folded the paper and stuck it in her pocket. “I'm just not used to being separated from you for most of the school day is all. I don't know anyone else here.”

 

Ben gave her a reassuring smile before placing a hand on her shoulder. “Don't worry, I understand, and I'll walk you to your classes if you need me to.”

 

His words and calming presence relaxed her. It had always been this way since the first day they met. Rey would be upset about something, but Ben made sure to comfort her and assure her whatever bothered her remained temporary and she’d get through it. If they had gone to separate schools at this point she was unsure she’d make it through the school year, let alone one day.

 

“Sorry, I just..” Her words tapered off, afraid she looked silly worrying over nothing. Ben attended her school and that was more than enough. “ Nevermind. I’m just happy we’re in the same school. I’d love it if we walked to our classes together.”  

 

Ben nodded towards the middle hallway which contained the sixth grade classes, or most of them. Rey’s home room was a science classroom The front door was decorated in cartoony flasks and atom symbols, and it was conveniently placed at the front of the hall. Or maybe not so conveniently considering it meant she’d have to part ways with Ben a few minutes earlier than expected. 

 

Before she entered the classroom she pulled him into a hug. His arms wrapped around her middle to give her one of his bear hugs. He already towered over her and could pick her up easily. An eighth grader passed by them and started snickering, “Aren’t you two a little young for some PDA?”

 

Rey and Ben’s cheeks flushed a bright crimson that trailed down their necks. Ben’s ears turned bright red which caused the older boy to laugh harder.  Ben turned his head to glare at the other boy whose slicked back red hair was distinguishable from the other kids walking the hallway. “Mind your own business, punk!” Ben yelled out, his fists clenching. The boy and nearby kids turned their heads to see who was brave enough to speak up for themselves.

 

“Ben…” Rey whispered in warning.

 

“What did you say to me, kid?” the red head retorted as he stomped towards them. His face appeared just an inch away from Ben’s. Rey watched the other boy’s fist curl and she pulled Ben away from him. 

 

“Ben, just ignore him,” Rey muttered, her grip tight on his shirt as she continued to drag him away. 

 

Lucky for them the eighth grader walked away, muttering obscenities under his breath. Rey let out the breath she had been holding during the entire confrontation. She had no doubts that Ben could take care of himself but the last thing he needed was to get in trouble on the first day of junior high. 

 

“Try not to get in trouble,” Rey said, giving him a soft smile, 

 

Ben only nodded. “I’ll meet you after class then?”

 

Rey answered with a nod of her own.

* * *

 

Once Rey entered the classroom her eyes roamed the desks for a vacant chair. Most chairs were already taken, but she managed to spot one in the back. She sat down and the boy next to her greeted her before she put her backpack down.

 

“I hope this class goes well. I hear it’s the hardest one in the sixth grade,” he said, making her look up while she placed her backpack on the floor and searched for a pencil. A girl on the other side of her turned her head to watch Rey fumble through her backpack.

 

“Oh?” Rey asked, trying to feign interest. She wasn’t used to many people talking to her. She and Ben had kept to themselves in elementary school.

 

“I’m Finn, and the girl next to you is Rose. We’re not allowed to sit next to each other because we’re disruptive. That’s what Rose’s mom told the school anyway since they couldn’t promise we’d be in separate classrooms.” 

 

Rey perked up at that. Finn and Rose appeared to be in a similar situation as she and Ben, though it was at a parent’s request and not just circumstance. 

 

“I know the feeling,” Rey responded, her eyes shifting to the shut door to see if Ben had moved on to his class. It appeared he had. 

 

“Yeah, I saw what happened to you and your friend. Armitage Hux is not someone to stand up to. You both got off easy with him. Everyone else stays away from that bully. He went to my elementary school and he was just as horrible then, especially to the younger kids,” Finn said.

 

“And now he’s acting big and tough here. I’m not surprised,” Rose chimed in before the teacher started the class, a scowl on her elderly face as she surveyed who was talking. 

 

“If we’re done gossiping then it’s time to start class,” the teacher said in a sharp tone. All three of them closed their mouths, watching the teacher’s back as she began to write her name on the board and started to list assignments to be completed by the end of the week. 

 

Rey groaned. This class would be the death of her. She knew it.

* * *

 

Lunch rolled around after her English class with Ben, and Rey stood in the line with Finn and Rose. She waved to Ben who had already sat down with his lunch. He lifted his hand and wiggled his fingers in a half attempt to wave, a frown on his face as he watched Rey move through the line with her new friends. Rey was a bit stunned by the behavior but turned back to Rose and Finn.

 

They chattered back and forth, and wondered if the food in junior high would be better or worse than what they had in elementary school. Rey laughed at one of Rose’s remarks and she didn’t fail to notice the creeping blush on Rose’s cheeks when Finn laughed at her joke.

 

Finn offered Rey a seat at their table but she shook her head. “I’m going to eat with my friend, Ben. We always eat lunch together. That’s one of our things.”

 

“I can understand that. We’ll see you after lunch, okay?” Finn asked as he walked to the nearest table with Rose. 

 

“Sure,” Rey said.  

 

Rey met Ben at the table next to the window. He picked at his food, but looked up and forced a smile when she sat next to him. Rey frowned when he his eyes turned back to his food, his finger mindlessly poking at a stray piece of chicken nugget.

 

“Ben? Did something happen?” Rey asked, her brow furrowed in concern as she took a bite of her chicken nugget.

 

“No, not really. I’m just a bit nervous, is all,” Ben remarked, then went silent. 

 

Her gut told her something else was bothering him but she chose to ignore it instead. Was Ben more troubled by not being in many classes with her than he appeared to be? Did something happen in class?

 

His dark mood lifted after a few moments and they talked until the bell rang to signal that lunch was over. They put up their trays and before Ben could ask to walk her back Finn and Rose appeared in front of Rey, their faces beaming.

 

Ben gave them a look. “I'd like to walk her to her next class. That's our thing.”

 

Finn held up his hands in mock surrender. “Sure. I won’t get in the way.”

 

Finn and Rose began to follow Rey and Ben, but Ben turned on his heel with a displeased expression on his face.

 

“Just me and her. If you don't mind.”

 

Rey opened her mouth, flabbergasted. “Ben..”

 

“No, it's cool, Rey. We'll see you tomorrow,” Finn said. He waved bye to her with Rose falling in step beside him as he stepped away.

 

Rey huffed and her face turned bright red. Her teeth were clenched and she looked as if she would breathe fire at him. She was angry and Ben took a step back. In the years he had known her he had never seen her like this.

 

“What was that about, Ben? I'm allowed to have other friends besides you,” she bit out, her voice wavering.

 

“I-I'm sorry. You're right. I just..” he sighed and ran his hand through his sable hair. “I want this to be our thing now. That's all.”

 

Rey’s heart felt heavy. Ben was jealous and she had never experienced this situation with him. It had just been him and her throughout their elementary school years and now they were going to a different school. The interactions with their peers were also a contrast to what they were used to. 

 

“Ben, you know you’re my best friend, right? Nothing is going to change that,” Rey reassured.

 

“I hope you’re right.”

 

Not the answer Rey wanted to hear. 

 

Ben shrugged his shoulders then touched her elbow to nudge her forward. “We better get going before we’re late.”

 

The rest of the day carried on without anymore incidences and when the last bell rang Rey breathed a sigh of relief. Rey had not expected the first day to be chaotic within the first hour but the rest of the day had run smoothly. 

 

Ben’s dad, Han, was the one to pick them up. Amilyn, Leia, and Han had agreed to take turns picking Ben and Rey up from school. Rey’s eyes lit up when she noticed they were being picked up in the Falcon. It was an older car, but the design was sleek and the engine had been rebuilt multiple times, which made for a smooth ride. 

 

Once they got in and buckled the seatbelts Han turned his head to speak to them. “You kids want to go get some ice cream? Don’t tell Leia or Amilyn, they might chew my head off for getting you a treat before dinner.” 

 

“We won’t tell, we promise. Right, Rey?” Ben asked, playfully elbowing her in the arm.

 

“Of course,” she muttered. 

 

Han pulled up to the nearest Baskin-Robbins and led them inside. Rey ordered chocolate chip cookie dough and Ben decided on rocky road, while Han settled on chocolate. When they sat down they heard glass break from the store next door, which made Ben and Rey jump in their seats. The other patrons turned their heads to look outside and see what had happened. A group of six boys ran across Baskin-Robbins hollering and laughing while the store manager from next door chased after them, a string of curses spilling out his mouth. 

 

Han shook his head and turned to Ben. “If you ever caused trouble like that you’d never see another video game for the rest of your life,” he remarked.

 

“I saw those boys today. They go to my school, I think they’re in the seventh grade. I also think they were skipping class because I saw the principal talking to them outside of one of my classes,” Ben explained as he took a bite out of his ice cream cone.

 

“That figures. Just don’t get caught up with that kind of crowd, kid. I learned my lesson the hard way,” Han explained, putting a hand on Ben’s shoulder. 

 

Rey had heard that Han’s past was tumultuous but never pressed him for more details. She assumed it wasn’t something he wanted to discuss with a kid that was not his own. Whatever life lessons about his past he wanted to pass on should be between him and Ben. 

Han drove them back home with Ben and Rey going their separate as they were not allowed to hang out on weeknights since homework and chores should be the focus. That did not stop them from talking to each other through their open windows at night. Their houses were close enough they could hear the other talk without causing too much suspicion to the adults below them.

 

“I didn’t get a chance to ask you at lunch but do you have any teachers you absolutely cannot stand already?” Rey asked, hoping to get a small laugh out of Ben. 

 

“Yeah, my homeroom teacher. History. Not surprised by that one,” Ben responded with a chuckle. 

 

“Same. Only my homeroom teacher is a science teacher. That’s not surprising either,” Rey said, her elbows propped on the windowsill with her chin resting in her hands. 

 

They went silent for a few seconds before Ben spoke, his expression apologetic. “Rey? About earlier today. I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have reacted to you talking to other people like that. It’s really selfish of me.” 

 

Rey sometimes forgot how Ben could be years ahead of her in his thoughts and speech. She would never be able to articulate her words as well as him. After his words sank in she finally spoke.

 

“Ben. It’s okay, I probably would have reacted the same way,” Rey assured.

 

Ben shook his head. “No, you’re kinder than me, Rey. You’re selfless and willing to drop what you’re doing for others. I’m not that way.” 

 

“You are with me.”

 

“Yes, with you and only you. I haven’t had many friends in my life. You’ve been my closest one and I just fear losing you. That’s all,” Ben said as his fingers nervously picked at a piece of peeling paint.

 

“I understand. Don’t worry, I forgive you. Okay? Don’t beat yourself up over it.” 

 

Ben nodded but went quiet again.

 

“I think we should go on to bed. We’ll see each other in the morning.” 

 

To that Ben agreed, begrudgingly. They both stepped away from the windows, shut them, and crawled into bed. Ben stayed awake until midnight, eyes wide open. His thoughts raced as he continued to worry about what growing up might do to them. He could only hope it would change them for the better. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Free cookie to anyone who can guess who those "six boys" are? ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to heat up as Ben and Rey hit puberty and leave childhood behind ;)

**2003**

 

Rey and Ben got through sixth grade unscathed. Ben had an issue with bullies but managed to shrug them off as his height had increased an inch or two throughout the year. Summer had arrived with an intense heat wave. They spent the entire summer in the mountains and then they had started seventh grade. Now it was nearing spring break and seventh grade would be coming to a close soon. Rey, Ben, Finn, and Rose stood by their lockers, dodging rowdy kids as they spoke. Ben had become better acquainted with Finn and Rose, though he would still try to get Rey to himself for half the time they were in or out of school.

 

“My mom said it was okay for me to invite a few friends over tonight. I wanted to see if you and Ben wanted to come over?” Rose asked, her expression hopeful.

 

“I would love to come over.” Rey looked at Ben,”are you coming too?”

 

Ben had always been wary of spending the night at other people’s houses. After suffering a bad experience in second grade, which required his father rescuing him in the middle of the night, he vowed to never do it again. This time was different, however. Rey would be with him, and he wanted to be where she was.

 

“Sure. Of course,” he responded.

 

“Perfect!” Rose excitedly replied. “I’ll tell my mom who is coming over and I’ll see you later then.”

 

“We better not keep my mom waiting,” Ben said, grabbing Rey’s hand to pull her along. He seemed to be in a hurry and over the past few months she had noticed Ben acted anxious around his mother. Sometimes they never spoke in the car. She didn’t want to cross any boundaries so she didn’t press for details. They were close but what was going with his family was his business.

* * *

 

As expected the car ride became awkward after Leia asked her usual questions about their day. Ben put in his earphones and played his ipod, a new piece of music technology that Rey was eager to try. Rey stayed quiet, deciding to enjoy the ride home and not interrupt Ben’s music. To this day she was still enraptured by the deep forests as they sped by them. She turned her head to the window next to Ben and her heart began to beat wildly. She had noticed it over the past year but today Ben looked cute. His dark curls were growing out, covering his rather large ears. His nose and lips were growing into his face and his eyes were a deeper chocolate brown than what she remembered.

 

Rey blushed and turned away. She would be mortified if Ben had noticed her looking at him like that. Last summer she had started her menstrual cycle and she noticed things that would not have piqued her interest before then. Against her better judgment, Ben had begun to look more and more appealing. They made it home and Rey almost jumped out of the car to run up to her house, leaving a confused Ben by the car.

 

Amilyn greeted Rey with one of her bear hugs. “Did your day go well?”she asked.

 

Rey nodded. “I was invited to a sleepover tonight at Rose’s house. Can I go?”

 

“Sure. You don’t have any homework, right?” Amilyn gave her a pointed look, daring her to lie like she did in October about her homework.

 

“Nope. I’m completely free this weekend,” Rey said, putting on her best smile.

 

“Alright. Go pack your bag and I’ll take you to Rose’s after I verify with her mother that this is indeed happening,” Amilyn explained.

 

Rey didn’t say anything back as she ran upstairs to start packing her bag. She hoped Amilyn wouldn’t notice Leia dropping Ben off either. Leia did not seem to mind she and Ben were together all the time. But she knew Amilyn was getting suspicious now that they were getting older. Leia would be agreeable about them spending the night at someone’s house together, Amilyn not so much.

 

It wasn’t without reason, Rey figured. Ben had turned thirteen in February and Rey would be thirteen next week. Ben grew more inches every year, and his body looked less and less like a child’s. Rey’s own body was beginning to fill out as well, though she still kept a somewhat childish figure. She also did not miss the way Ben had been looking at her, but Rey’s self doubt told her it was her imagination and to ignore it.

 

She and Ben were changing and hormones were wild at their age, however innocent it may look to adults. Rey was unsure of what to make of Ben’s evolving demeanor towards her. They had grown up together, they were neighbors, and he was her best friend. The destruction of what they had was the last thing Rey wanted, or needed.

 

Once Rey was packed and Amilyn had received confirmation of this plan from Mrs. Tico, Rey was driven to the Tico’s. Rey gave Amilyn a hug and hopped out of the car, hoping she would drive off before Leia arrived. Surely she wouldn’t put two and two together if she got home and Leia wasn’t there?

 

Rey stopped worrying once she stepped into the house and Amilyn drove off. The Tico’s had a smaller, more humble home than the ones Rey and Ben lived in, but it provided a coziness to it that Rey had never felt in her life. Finn arrived not long after Rey did and all three of them hung out in Rose’s room.

 

“My mom did say the boys will have to sleep in separate rooms, and this will be the last time I can have a sleepover with boys and girls,” Rose said, but then she got a mischievous glint in her eyes. “That means Rey and I will have sleepovers. We can do makeovers and watch chick flicks without some smelly boys whining about it.”

 

Finn stuck out his tongue and reached for a bag of Doritos. “Ben and I will have our own sleepovers then.”

 

“Fair enough,” Rose retorted.

 

Finn was about to snap back but Ben walked through the doorway. Rey stood up and hugged him, his long arms wrapped around her waist and held her close. The gesture made Rose and Finn’s brows rise in question. Rey pulled back when she heard Rose’s fake cough behind her. She fought the blush creeping along her cheeks as she sat down, Ben following her to sit as close to her as possible.

 

Rose watched with interest but turned to Finn. “So, what should we do or watch tonight?”

 

“I think we should play Truth or Dare and Spin the Bottle,” Finn suggested. Rose giggled but she realized he was serious.

 

“Really, Finn? That’s so typical.”

 

“I’m for it,” Ben chimed in, his eyes drifting quickly to Rey before darting back to Rose and Finn. It didn’t escape Rose’s notice, and her curiosity was piqued.

 

“I guess we’ll do that after we watch a movie and eat pizza if we’re not told to separate afterwards. Also, Jessika and Kaydel are coming over,” Rose stated as if she hadn’t just dropped this news on them out of nowhere.

 

“Oh?,” Rey asked, her nerves like a livewire. She did not know these girls personally, but they were semi popular and that made her nervous.

 

“I think you will get along with them. You too, Ben.”

 

“I-I doubt it,” Ben responded with a shrug. He didn’t seem too pleased about this new development either.

 

A strange vibe blanketed everyone in the room and it went quiet. The deafening silence bothered Rey and she was about to speak until Kaydel and Jessika entered the room. Brand clothing covered their bodies and they set their expensive purses down on Rose’s nightstand. At thirteen years old they had mastered makeup and hair styles.

 

Suddenly, Rey felt very small and she felt a slight punch in her gut when she saw Ben’s eyes rove over Jessika’s figure. A few minutes ago Ben did not want to stop hugging her but now he was eyeing another girl. Shame replaced jealousy as she realized she had no claim on Ben and she hadn’t exactly been reciprocating his intense looks and lingering touches.

 

If he ended up liking another girl maybe this was for the best? This way they wouldn’t ruin their friendship. She may be ignored for a while but he’d come around again because of their vow, right?

 

“Rey?” Ben asked.

 

She blinked.

 

“What would you like on your pizza?” Ben questioned, looking concerned.

 

“Ah, just mushrooms. Please.” Yes, she definitely needed to keep herself in check, otherwise this night would turn into a disaster.

 

Paige, Rose’s older sister, peeked into the bedroom. She was sixteen years old and had everything a girl her age needed: a driver's license and a car.

 

“Mom said I need to drive to the store and get drinks there instead of ordering them. Are you picky? No? Okay. I'll be back then,” Paige said, leaving without getting everyone's answer.

 

“Ooookay,” Kaydel said. “That was a little rude.”

 

Rose rolled her eyes. “She's mad because she has to go to the store. She's been running errands ever since she got her license.”

 

“Which is why I won't get mine until I'm eighteen and in college, away from home,” Jessika stated as she checked her freshly painted nails. They were coated in a bluish glimmer and they looked nice. Grown up, even. Rey looked down at her own chipped nail polish and did her best to hide how out of touch she was as a girl.

 

They talked to each other as they ate their pizza. Strangely, Rey found herself enjoying Jessika and Kaydel's company. They even offered to do a makeover for her, which Rey hesitantly agreed to. They mixed and matched some clothes they found in Rose's closet and applied expensive makeup to her face. They went for a more natural look, something Rey was thankful for. If Amilyn caught her with layers of makeup she would fuss, and Amilyn Holdo knew how to fuss.

 

She noticed Ben looking at her, his mouth slightly parted as he looked her over. Rey shifted uncomfortably on the bean bag chair, though she was pleased his focus had shifted back to her.

 

At midnight the boys were separated from the girls, but that didn't stop Kaydel from tiptoeing into the guest room to gesture that they follow her back to Rose's room. Finn and Ben looked at each other, not sure if this was worth the trouble. They decided that yes, it was. The room was lit with several candles and the girls sat in a circle. Ben decided to sit across from Rey when he noticed the plastic bottle on the floor. His first kiss would be with Rey, he'd make sure of it.

 

Rose and Jessika had their turn and much to his relief the bottle hadn't landed on him. He turned the bottle to make it spin, using the top of his shoe to nudge it and make it land on Rey. Hopefully. It passed Rey the second time it spun around and Ben began to sweat and his heart thudded in his chest. He could maybe stand to kiss Jessika, she was pretty enough.  Rey was who he wanted. The person he trusted most in his life, his best friend.

 

He wasn't sure when this infatuation started. Maybe last summer when he began to notice her eyes and her legs. The breasts that were beginning to fill out in her bikini. She remained oblivious to his lusty stares so he never pushed it, but his patience was running thin. If he were to have one girl in his life it would be Rey.

 

The bottle began to slow and it stopped between Rey and Jessika. Ben swallowed hard. Rey looked at him, her eyes curious.  

 

“Well, I think the choice should be yours, Ben,” Kaydel muttered, her voice betraying how eager she was to see who he would choose.

 

Now his stomach churned. His chance had arrived and now he was going to chicken out? He was going to kiss Jessika because he was too scared to kiss Rey? No, he would do this. If he didn't he'd regret it for the rest of his life.

 

Rey's eyes widened as he moved forward and took her face in his hands. She didn't back away or push him away so he pressed his lips to hers. Forgetting they had an audience Ben deepened the kiss by shoving his tongue into her mouth. Rey pulled away after a few seconds, her chest heaving and cheeks sporting a bright pink blush.

 

“Well, it's about time. I thought I'd never see you two make out,” Rose said with a giggle. Finn sat next to her, mouth wide open.

 

Kaydel was smirking and Jessika was fanning herself. “Well, I think you two need a moment,” Jessika said taking a sip of her Sprite.

 

Rose clapped her hands together. “Good idea! Seven minutes in heaven!”

 

Rey shook her head, and Ben felt his heart drop in his stomach. She was clearly uncomfortable, and he had pushed her too soon and in front of friends and strangers.

 

“No, no. I couldn't possi-”

 

“She doesn't have to do that. Leave her alone.” Ben's voice was intimidating, even with the subtle change in the pitch. Everyone went quiet then decided to move on to something else.

 

Ben gave Rey a pleading look, but she refused to look up at him. He had embarrassed her and got ahead of himself. His anxiety spiked as a million scenarios ran through his head. He should have just kissed Jessika.

* * *

 

Rey didn't talk to him for the rest of the night, or the day after. Depression hit him for the first time in his life. He now understood why his mother had a glass of wine every night. She was drunk every night as she and his father continued to drift further and further apart. There were times she took her stress out on him, verbally. His changing family life was something he kept from Rey. It was embarrassing and he didn't want to plague her with his own problems. She hated him now and as usual it was his fault.

 

He saw her silhouette pacing around her room but he turned his head away. His shame was still fresh and he needed to give her space. He needed  a bike ride and a cold drink from the store, anything to keep his mind off her.

 

A slight chill hung in the air and he pulled on his blink-182 hoodie before going downstairs. His mom was already half drunk on the couch, red wine in a glass and her legs kicked up on the couch armrest. His father absent. His mother put on a pretty show when Rey was around, but this was what his life had turned into over the past few months.

 

He started rummaging through Leia's purse and pulled out her credit card. “I'm getting a drink from the store.”

 

“Okay.” And that was all she said.

 

Ben shut the door behind him as he left. He hopped on his bike and sped away from the house as quickly as possible. He usually invited Rey on his bike rides but not this time. A lump formed in his throat and tears slid down his cheeks. So far their teenage years weren't starting off well.

 

He wiped the tears off his eyes and cheeks as he rode into the store parking lot. He noticed the same gang of six boys who always caused trouble at school or in town. The last thing he needed was to become a target for them because he was crying.

 

He controlled his emotions and let his eyes dry before he got off his bike. He locked it to the grid bike rack and avoided eye contact with the small gang, if that's what they were called. He made it inside without incident and grabbed his drink. Shifting his weight nervously as he waited in line he felt six pairs of eyes watching him through the window, their stares boring holes into his back.

 

After paying for his drink he reluctantly walked outside. He barely made it through the door before one of them shouted at him.

 

“You, come here,” said the boy about his height. Ben was hesitant and he gave them an incredulous look. A boy with blonde hair shook his head and scoffed. “We don't bite. We're just curious is all.”

 

Ben sighed and walked to them, mentally preparing to get jumped. Or worse, beaten and left for dead while they went on a spending spree with his mom’s money.

 

“What's your name?” the blonde asked.

 

“Ben. And that's all I'm telling you.”

 

The tall one laughed. “I like him. He's not weak.”

 

That caught Ben's attention. To hear some kind of praise was music to his ears, especially from kids who appeared to have qualms about killing him.

 

“Do you smoke?” a smaller boy asked.

 

Ben shook his head. He shouldn't be getting involved with these boys. His father had warned him about them last year, but he also wasn't around much anymore. So, how much did that piece of advice matter now?

 

“Well, now you do,” said the boy, handing him a cigarette.

 

Ben put the cigarette in his mouth and the blonde lit it. He took a drag and started coughing once the smoke hit his lungs, the burning and tar uncomfortable in his throat.

 

“You gotta treat it like a girl. Go slow.”

 

Ben's eyes widened a bit at the metaphor, or whatever it was. These boys were definitely more worldly than him. He took his advice and eventually got the hang of smoking a cigarette after a few tries.

 

“You're a fast learner. You should come hang out with us sometime,” the blonde said.

 

“Oh. What are your names?” Ben asked, taking another drag off the cigarette. It felt good, soothing. His hands stopped shaking and his worries seemed to be a million miles away.

 

“I'm Dakota,” the blonde said. “The tall guy is Clinton. The one with his hair dyed green is Jacen. The youngest one is Michael, and the one next to him is Nathan. The quiet one is Vince. Knights of Ren.”

 

“What?”Ben asked in surprise, not sure he heard the last part right. Was this some kind of roleplaying thing?

 

“We're The Knights of Ren. We run the neighborhood around here,” Dakota explained.

 

“Yeah, I figured as much,” Ben said, stomping on the cigarette to put it out. “Maybe I'll see you all around then.”

 

Dakota waved at him as he walked away. The rest of them stayed quiet. He unlocked his bike and rode home. The nicotine gave him a new wave of confidence and before he pulled his bike into the garage he rode it to Rey's window. She couldn't ignore him forever.

 

“Rey!” Ben shouted. Silence followed.

 

Rey sat up from her bed, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She swore she heard Ben shout her name, but in the haziness of her dream she thought she imagined it. That is, until she heard her name again.

 

Rey had spent last night and the better part of the day in shock at what had happened. She wasn't sure how to face Ben after he had given her such a deep and lustful kiss. She should have known this was coming since his actions towards her had changed. He had gone from acting like her friend to something more.

 

It scared her, but maybe it wouldn't be so bad. And with his voice calling for her, pleading with her, this would be her chance. Their chance.

 

She poked her head out the window and she watched Ben's facial expression go from desperation to relief in a matter of seconds.

 

“Can you meet me in the field?” Ben asked, his brown eyes begging her not to reject him.

 

Rey nodded and left the window. She slipped on an old pair of shoes and met him at the field behind their houses. She pulled her jacket tight against her to shield her thin body from the chilly evening spring air.

 

“Hey,” she muttered to Ben.

 

Ben turned to her, a small smile on his lips. “Hey. I-I'm sorry about last night, Rey. I, um, I've had feelings for you for a few months and they're intense. I don't know what to make of them. I know this changes things between us and I'll respect it if you don't want me in that way. But I'll never be able to help how I feel.”

 

Rey bit her lower lip at his admission. After the kiss it didn’t take two brain cells rubbing together to figure out what had happened. If their vow was true and they were going to keep it then Rey shouldn’t fear dating Ben. It felt natural, and it just made sense.

 

“I didn’t mean to ignore you I just…” her words trailed off as she chose the rest of them carefully. “ I didn’t know what to think and I am afraid of losing you. This changes a lot.”

 

Ben nodded, resigned. “I understand. I-”

 

He nearly bit his tongue when Rey pulled him towards her by the collar of his jacket and planted her lips on his. It took him a few seconds to gather his wits and he deepened the kiss. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close. Ben pulled away first to allow them to breathe. His ears peeked through his black curls and were burning bright red. Rey’s cheeks flushed pink.

 

“We can’t let our parents know. If they know they’ll chaperone us and we’ll never have what we’ve had for years,” Rey said.

 

“Yeah, I agree. We’ll kiss when we’re away from our homes. I don’t think they’ll suspect anything because we’ve been doing what we’ve always done.”

 

The wind kicked up and Rey pulled her hood up. Ben pulled her back into his arms and kissed her, his hands rubbed her back in small circles. The sun had set behind the horizon before they stopped their kisses and parted ways to go to their separate houses. Once inside Rey opened her window as Ben opened his.

 

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Was that cigarette smoke I tasted on your tongue?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't get too excited...... ;) LOL

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've been wanting to write a "growing up" fic for a year now and I could never get the creative juices going enough to do it. Two weeks ago I sat my ass down and outlined this fic. I don't expect it to go past 12 chapters but that could change, and the length of the chapters will vary depending on whta's needed. Fic will be updated at least once a week; however, I do have a child and sometimes I work extra hours. Which is exhausting. But my goal is at least once a week. I also didn't have a beta for this chapter so bear with me.


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